Thursday, January 26, 2012

go away..

"Don't ask me another question, don't tell me who did something wrong, just go play out back, I NEED some quiet!" Those were my words to my kids a few minutes ago. I have been so overwhelmed lately and today just seemed to top it off. Not sure how to pinpoint what it is exactly. I'm still wrestling with food allergies. My eyesight is getting SO bad, doing any reading is becoming quite a challenge. And I'm always tired. Homeschooling 5 children is hard. Some days I don't want to do it, I would rather place what has been given to me (my kids) into someone else's care (school) so I can "do my thing".
I sat down with my bad mood, Bible, and Josh Garrels playing in the background (go download his cd it's free and just AWESOME!!!)
I started reading and came across something I had written in my Bible. It was a quote from Jason Upton, "Don't you know. You're a word from heaven." Wow. Thank you, Lord, for grounding me fast. This life is not about me. I have a specific purpose that only I can fulfill. I cannot give in to my flesh or give up. Yes, I need quiet but not so I can escape everything, I need quiet so I can be filled with "wisdom that passes all understanding" and continue this journey with perserverance.
I was left with this phrase-
Don't listen to what the world and others are telling you, do what you know is right for you and your family. Do all you can to fulfill your purpose, you don't have to be like everyone else.

"At the end of my life I want it said of me, 'She endured as seeing Him who is invisible' (Heb 11:27b)" Misty Edwards

1 comment:

Cindy said...

you are an amazing mother...and yes, it is hard...but rewarding...I am praying that maybe you can find a Mothers Day Out cooperative...so you have a real Sabbath. Yet, you do find your balance, don't you? Hugs and prayers and love!