Errors and All

I've been thinking about writing this post for awhile but my problem with writing is that I get so hung up on proper grammar/sentence structure that I don't finish writing out my thoughts. And not to mention the format of the blog is driving me crazy, it wasn't always this way. I can't get the spaces how I want them after I hit the publish button. Not sure if it's just me that's having these problems. Maybe I'll change the format of the blog, but I like the mountain background with the rain drops... These are the things I get hung up on. I need to learn from my husband who can type out a 2 page paper in a few minutes. So here it goes, errors and all. I wrote about a trip to the passion conference, here. and how I feel the Lord is wanting me to open up and share what He's put in me. I've been wrestling with it a ton. I'd much rather post a picture, it requires much less of me.. As soon as I'm in a group setting I close myself off from communicating. Yesterday morning was a great example, I got to our college/career group Sunday school class a few minutes early and another student was already there. They asked how I was doing, I opened up and shared my frustration of Sunday morning church and a few other things. As soon as class started I felt the switch from fiery and passionate dim down and silence overtook me. It's a frustrating point to be at. Sunday church was a struggle to get through but the end revelatory point both Bobby and I took was about loving your neighbor as yourself. You love yourself right? We're called to love others as we love ourselves. Probably a duh moment for most people but it hit us in a new and different way. I started to think about my actual neighbors, I probably know them better than most people in our church and not because we talk everyday but because we are doing life next door to each other. I don't know intimate details about them but I know enough to know their basic likes and dislikes which is more than I know about most people in our church. We've been tired of Sunday morning church for a long time but are at the point of not knowing what to do. Our desire is to be surrounded by a community of believers who do life together but until that happens Bobby and I have to press in together with what we have. I'm grateful for him as my husband, who continually pushes and challenges me and doesn't tell me the things I want to hear but the things I need to hear. -----That is how we are called to love our neighbors.--- Proverbs 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; But the kisses of an enemy are profuse." (ASV) "Faithful [are] the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy [are] deceitful." (KJV) "The wounds of a friend are more to be trusted than the spontaneous kisses of an enemy." Brenton Greek Septuagint (LXX, Restored Names) So here's to me being more transparent. I'm not liking how hard I've become because I'm tired of people (Christian believers) letting me down. I miss being at IHOP-KC. I miss "weird" people who are sold out for the Lord and will do ANYTHING for him, like sell everything and move in an instant because the Lord was leading them. I miss people who are blown by the wind. John 3:8 "The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can't tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can't explain how people are born of the Spirit." I want to be around people who are full of Faith and will stir up my Faith. "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." (Heb 11:6) I want to be surrounded by people who are not content with settling for less but want more of the deep things of the Lord and who live out Matthew 5-7 and Romans 9-11.